Last week we explored the first of 5 principles of transformational coaching: bringing the coaching into the present moment.

We looked at how the mind can travel through time and space — while the body gives us access to what is happening here, now.

And how, when we invite a client into their direct experience, we can move from talking about a pattern to making contact with the pattern as it is actually happening.

But once we make contact with what’s here, another question becomes incredibly important:

How do we meet it?

Because so often our clients want to move past something. They’ve specifically asked us to help them change.

A pattern they’re tired of repeating.
An emotion they no longer want to feel.
A part of themselves they wish would finally get out of the way.

And so our first impulse can sometimes be to try and change what’s here, so our clients can reach the place they say they want.

But when we meet those experiences primarily as problems to solve, we can unintentionally reinforce the message underneath the struggle:

Who I am right now isn’t enough.

Instead, we’re invited to take what can feel like a radical turn:

To welcome everything.

This is one of the great paradoxes at the heart of transformation — change happens faster and deeper when we drop the change agenda. 

So rather than trying to move our client away from what’s here, we help them radically include the full range of their experience.

The contraction. The fear. The frustration. The part that wants things to be different.

And this is where the paradox comes alive.

When we stop fighting with our experience, it often spontaneously begins to shift.

As you watch, I’d love to know what resonates — or what questions it opens up for you. You can share your reflections in the comments below.

With care,
Joel