Over the past two weeks, we’ve been exploring some of the core principles of transformational coaching — bringing the coaching into the present moment, and then meeting whatever we find with unconditional acceptance.
You can find those articles here:
Once we can meet what’s here without trying to change it, a little more space begins to open around the experience.
Which brings us to our third principle:
Accessing a Wider Sense of Self.
Because when a client feels stuck, it’s often not all of them that’s stuck.
It’s a Part.
A Part of them that feels afraid. Or overwhelmed. Or frustrated. And it simply cannot see a way through.
And when your client is deeply identified with that Part — when they’re fully in a state of reactivity — that’s all they can see. It’s as if the Part has become their entire lens.
And the challenge can feel like their whole reality.
But here’s the key…
Even though it feels like it, the reactive Part is not the whole of who they are.
And as a coach, when you can help your client recognize that distinction, their perspective begins to widen.
The problem may still be there. But they’re no longer meeting it with only the Part of them that feels stuck.
More of who they are becomes available and they’re able to access greater wisdom, creativity, and self-compassion — making the original challenge look and feel very different.
In this third video, I explore what I call “shifting into freedom” — helping a client move from being fully identified with a reactive Part into a wider sense of Self.
As you watch, I’d love to know what resonates — or what questions it opens up for you. You can share your reflections in the comments below.
With care,
Joel
“Thank you so much, Joel. I’m slowly getting addicted to the Monday inspiration with the coaching principles. 🙂
This one resonates with me deeply, especially since I’m currently working with the mantra: PEACE IN FREEDOM” myself.
Thank you, Andrea. Peace in freedom is a powerful one to sit with, especially on the days life asks for more grip, not less. Glad our Monday principle resonated so deeply. Next one coming soon.:)
Thanks for sharing this Joel.
I have found this whole “Being with” and noticing what it is I am when I am being with what is here in life, such an interesting and nourishing way to be.
I have an AM practice I do through journaling that follows this method, checking in what what is here, and well as what may need some contact in my life, and I have found it a great way to step into the world, day by day.
Hi Dave!
Thank you for your reply. Practicing “being with” can indeed be incredibly nourishing. And powerful.
Your journaling practice sounds wonderful.
Thank you for being with us on this journey!
I think it is brilliant to ask clients to step back from the reactive feeling, which can blind them to what is actually happening. Reactive feelings can cripple creative states and reduce our capacity to do and be our best. I love your approach, Joel.
Hi Cate!
Indeed. Finding more spaciousness around our reactivity can be so beneficial.
It’s so good to hear that you resonate with this approach. Thank you for your comment and for being here with us!
Joel, thanks for sharing. This brings me right back to our coaching sessions, where you so masterfully got me into that space of freedom again and again.
It takes a bit of practice, but in my own work, I notice how I can now use that ability to get out of my head and deeply connect with a client, even with parts present in myself that previously I might have wanted to “resist”.
Hi Georg,
Thank you for what you’ve shared. It’s so true that being able to be present with our whole being can enable us to connect much more deeply to ourselves and to our clients. : )
It’s wonderful to have you on this journey with us!
Joel, this series of videos is absolute gold. I can’t say enough good things about the topics, the way you you articulate it, how you bring it to life with real examples. Thank you for your generosity of time and skill. You can tell what a caring person you are from watching these!
Hi Erica!
Thank you so much for your kind reply, it means a lot to us here at Coaches Rising. : )